Friends, I've thought about this issue and rethought about it and then thought about it some more. Just trying to figure out what is really bothering me and why.
I'm still trying to figure this out, but I'm going to give you a couple of scenarios.
Scenario #1: The For-Profit World
I work for a flooring company (it's a family business). Seeing that I've never worked in an industry like this before, I've had to learn lots and learn it quickly. Much to my chagrin, looks make a difference. I cannot tell you how many times I gotten short or curt reactions from clients/customers via email. Sometimes, there are even downright rude messages. That is, until they meet me. All of a sudden, they're surprised by what I look like and they're noticeably nicer to me afterwards.
Now, being the analytical person that I am, I shrugged it off the first couple of times as mere coincidence. But it has happened enough times now, where businessmen shake my hand look me up and down and smile-- pleasantly surprised that I'm the bitch behind the keyboard.
Here's my problem with that: I'm not actually a bitch behind the keyboard, but even if I was... whatever my physical appearance is should not impact how you treat a human being. Period.
Scenario #2: The Non-Profit World
I recently had a meeting at my other job, which as you know, is in the non-profit sector. Largely, this industry is dominated by single 20-something females. The meeting I was at yesterday was with a 20-something male that our organization is interested in partnering with. Was he good-looking? Yes, which I noted (it's like noticing how blue and beautiful the sky is that day) and then moved on, not really thinking much about it. At least not until, women kept making comments about how good-looking he was. It really took me aback. Did his good looks make me want to work with him any more or less? Absolutely not. I'm more interested in if he can get the job done. Why? Because I'm here to work and to get a job done.
Here's my problem with this: A female colleague suggested that we could use his good looks to our advantage for our project. A handsome face amongst a sea of young ladies could do much to persuade them to get on board with us. Even the suggestion of something like that seems incredibly cheap and very uncomfortable.
Scenario #2 reminds me of my days working at Disneyland when a straight guy would hire in. A straight man in an entertainment department was like seeing a unicorn. They are so few and far between. The instantaneous rivalry that began amongst the females was legitimately appalling.
Here's my thing on that. Competition in that arena is immediately off-putting to me. You want to date him? Go ahead. You won't see me fighting to cast my name in there. If a guy is interested in dating a particular girl, that's great but there's no need for there to be fawning and lots of blinking and such, especially when we're trying to work. If you've seen "He's Just Not That Into You," you know what I mean. And if you haven't, I recommend watching it and taking notes.
All of this to say, I understand that attraction is natural and it happens, but I think it's important that we don't let our work get convoluted with it. And it makes me sad that people aren't just nice to be people, merely because they are human beings. Because as we all know, people matter.
I think our culture has gotten a little out of hand with its obsession with beauty. On one hand, I understand that it is what it is, but on the other hand, I just feel like there should be people out there saying how crazy and out of control it is sometimes.
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. I remind myself that all of the time. So much of our time is spent on temporary things, rather than on the things that really last like love, truth, and justice.
Again, I'm still trying to figure how to navigate the waters in both the for-profit and non-profit worlds. But I will say this, I hope that my legacy is built upon more than just being a pretty face.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Friday, February 7, 2014
Things That Make Delia Want to Hit Her Face on the Steering Wheel While Driving...
Now, that you're here: This might not be what you expected. There's a plethora of articles/blog posts about driving etiquette. Don't be fooled. This is not one of those...
As I was driving home from work today, I was channel surfing on the radio and I unknowingly stumbled upon "Focus on the Family." That should have been my first clue.
But, no.
I proceeded to listen for the next five minutes while two deejays were lamenting to a "school whisperer" about how their kids "just don't like school." Can we pause for a second? A "school whisperer?" What kind of country are we that we require a "school whisperer?"
Insert: things that make Delia want to hit her face on the steering wheel while driving.
We live in a country where public education is fuh-ree. Free! No minimum for books. No requirement for school uniforms. Kids who come from low-income families can qualify for free lunch. Free.
*Freeeeee.*
Meanwhile, there are kids in other countries *clamoring* for the opportunity to go to school. To have the necessary fees to attend school. To have the required uniforms to wear to school. To have basic school supplies such as pencils and paper. Girls are often denied the right to go to school alongside their brothers. Kids who walk *miles* to go to school. Girls who are shot (in the face, I might add) because they advocate for the right to go to school.
School.
Kids who just *want* to go to school. Because education and literacy can't be taken away once it's been imparted. Because education sets people free.
Free.
America, land of the free and home of the brave, let us never forget that "education is the key to the golden door of freedom."
As I was driving home from work today, I was channel surfing on the radio and I unknowingly stumbled upon "Focus on the Family." That should have been my first clue.
But, no.
I proceeded to listen for the next five minutes while two deejays were lamenting to a "school whisperer" about how their kids "just don't like school." Can we pause for a second? A "school whisperer?" What kind of country are we that we require a "school whisperer?"
Insert: things that make Delia want to hit her face on the steering wheel while driving.
We live in a country where public education is fuh-ree. Free! No minimum for books. No requirement for school uniforms. Kids who come from low-income families can qualify for free lunch. Free.
*Freeeeee.*
Meanwhile, there are kids in other countries *clamoring* for the opportunity to go to school. To have the necessary fees to attend school. To have the required uniforms to wear to school. To have basic school supplies such as pencils and paper. Girls are often denied the right to go to school alongside their brothers. Kids who walk *miles* to go to school. Girls who are shot (in the face, I might add) because they advocate for the right to go to school.
School.
Kids who just *want* to go to school. Because education and literacy can't be taken away once it's been imparted. Because education sets people free.
Free.
America, land of the free and home of the brave, let us never forget that "education is the key to the golden door of freedom."
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/nelsonmand157855.html#4GCPiCwVvzad3yZD.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/nelsonmand157855.html#4GCPiCwVvzad3yZD.99
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_education.html#Yj2kgVkVZUO6eIk3.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_education.html#Yj2kgVkVZUO6eIk3.99
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_education.html#Yj2kgVkVZUO6eIk3.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_education.html#Yj2kgVkVZUO6eIk3.99
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_education.html#Yj2kgVkVZUO6eIk3.9
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_education.html#Yj2kgVkVZUO6eIk3.9
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Year 26
Leading up to my birthday every year, I tend to get contemplative. I like to reflect on the last year's birthday and what has changed since then. You know, the highs, the lows, the wins, the losses, and the never agains.
Last year for my 25th, I felt a lot of pressure. As if there was some unsaid expectations of what it meant to be a "real adult" (whatever that means). I can't really tell you if I successfully lived up to those expectations in my 25th year, but I can tell you that I did learn a lot. And I grew a lot too. With 26, I felt like there was way less pressure (by and large, self-imposed anyway).
So, in December (less than two months away from my birthday), I decided to "bite the bullet" and purchase the tickets for a flight up to Seattle to visit a friend that I've been promising (to both her and myself) to visit. She's graduating from Udub in April, so I felt like it was "now or never, do or die."
Can I just tell you how wonderful this trip was?! I tried new foods (like drunken Thai noodles, Turkish Delight, octopus, a turkey/bacon/brie/apple sandwich, banana foster with orange flambe, and sweet potato frittata). I danced and sang at the top of the Space Needle. I went to the most beautiful museum I've ever been to (Chihuly Glass Museum). I went to the original Starbucks and Pike's Place. I went to Gaslamp park where a scene from "10 Things I Hate About You" was filmed. I took a picture with the troll under the bridge. All the while, spending time with one of my good friends and enjoying her company. It was bliss.
It was one of the best decisions I've made in a long time (for obvious reasons). I'll be doing more traveling this year for a number of less obvious reasons:
1. Self-care
You guys. I haven't felt this alive-- this *awake* in a while. I've been suffering from wanderlust for about a year now. And in some weird way, I've told myself that it's best that I not splurge on trips for myself. I was so wrong. I need travel in my life. In order to love the people in my life best, I need it.
2. Single-savvy
Subconsciously and maybe even a little consciously, I've been punishing myself for not being where I want to be in life. I've graduated with two degrees and I thought by now I'd at least be dating someone. That's the normal progression of things, right? I'm learning that there is no such thing as "normal." So as I've been waiting around for Mr. Right to show up, I've been holding myself back. Stupid. Listen to me, ladies. That's stupid. Really stupid. I've been waiting for my life to start. To start for what? It's already happening. It's happening now. If you are like I was, do yourself a favor and just book the damn tickets, already.
3. New resolutions
I did some serious soul searching before New Year's. This article made me stop and think about what I wanted my life, particularly my single life, to be about. I want my life to be about limitlessness. So, I made a resolution to travel more this year. The goal is travel to a new place at least once a month for the rest of the year. I went to Vegas twice in January. Seattle was in February. Trips slated for later this year include Portland in August and Jordan (the country) in the fall. But I'm already dreaming up ways to get to San Fran, the Grand Canyon, Maine, Washington D.C., Georgia, and China. I've drooled over my friend's travel pictures on Facebook/Instragram/Twitter enough already. Enough is enough.
Now is my time. Now is your time. Get out there and live life, people. Stop waiting for tomorrow to make it happen.
"Coincidentally" (I believe in coincidences less and less as I get older), I met a girl who is around my age on the plane ride home today. She had gotten home from teaching abroad in Japan for four years in August and she was headed on her way to New Zealand. 'Cause why? Because she could. She had a work visa and this was her one shot to make it happen since the visa doesn't last for ever and you can only apply for it once. It was "now or never, do or die" for her too.
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Let's make it happen, people. Let's live our lives out loud. I saw this quote on Facebook the other day, "She loved life and it love her right back." Love your life and let it love you right back.
Much love.
D
Last year for my 25th, I felt a lot of pressure. As if there was some unsaid expectations of what it meant to be a "real adult" (whatever that means). I can't really tell you if I successfully lived up to those expectations in my 25th year, but I can tell you that I did learn a lot. And I grew a lot too. With 26, I felt like there was way less pressure (by and large, self-imposed anyway).
So, in December (less than two months away from my birthday), I decided to "bite the bullet" and purchase the tickets for a flight up to Seattle to visit a friend that I've been promising (to both her and myself) to visit. She's graduating from Udub in April, so I felt like it was "now or never, do or die."
Can I just tell you how wonderful this trip was?! I tried new foods (like drunken Thai noodles, Turkish Delight, octopus, a turkey/bacon/brie/apple sandwich, banana foster with orange flambe, and sweet potato frittata). I danced and sang at the top of the Space Needle. I went to the most beautiful museum I've ever been to (Chihuly Glass Museum). I went to the original Starbucks and Pike's Place. I went to Gaslamp park where a scene from "10 Things I Hate About You" was filmed. I took a picture with the troll under the bridge. All the while, spending time with one of my good friends and enjoying her company. It was bliss.
It was one of the best decisions I've made in a long time (for obvious reasons). I'll be doing more traveling this year for a number of less obvious reasons:
1. Self-care
You guys. I haven't felt this alive-- this *awake* in a while. I've been suffering from wanderlust for about a year now. And in some weird way, I've told myself that it's best that I not splurge on trips for myself. I was so wrong. I need travel in my life. In order to love the people in my life best, I need it.
2. Single-savvy
Subconsciously and maybe even a little consciously, I've been punishing myself for not being where I want to be in life. I've graduated with two degrees and I thought by now I'd at least be dating someone. That's the normal progression of things, right? I'm learning that there is no such thing as "normal." So as I've been waiting around for Mr. Right to show up, I've been holding myself back. Stupid. Listen to me, ladies. That's stupid. Really stupid. I've been waiting for my life to start. To start for what? It's already happening. It's happening now. If you are like I was, do yourself a favor and just book the damn tickets, already.
3. New resolutions
I did some serious soul searching before New Year's. This article made me stop and think about what I wanted my life, particularly my single life, to be about. I want my life to be about limitlessness. So, I made a resolution to travel more this year. The goal is travel to a new place at least once a month for the rest of the year. I went to Vegas twice in January. Seattle was in February. Trips slated for later this year include Portland in August and Jordan (the country) in the fall. But I'm already dreaming up ways to get to San Fran, the Grand Canyon, Maine, Washington D.C., Georgia, and China. I've drooled over my friend's travel pictures on Facebook/Instragram/Twitter enough already. Enough is enough.
Now is my time. Now is your time. Get out there and live life, people. Stop waiting for tomorrow to make it happen.
"Coincidentally" (I believe in coincidences less and less as I get older), I met a girl who is around my age on the plane ride home today. She had gotten home from teaching abroad in Japan for four years in August and she was headed on her way to New Zealand. 'Cause why? Because she could. She had a work visa and this was her one shot to make it happen since the visa doesn't last for ever and you can only apply for it once. It was "now or never, do or die" for her too.
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Let's make it happen, people. Let's live our lives out loud. I saw this quote on Facebook the other day, "She loved life and it love her right back." Love your life and let it love you right back.
Much love.
D
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