Please Don't Waste My Time

People who are worth your time don't waste yours. 

Let me tell you... That is easier said than done. This may come as a surprise to some, but I am a person who believes in second chances. Third chances... ninth chances. Seriously though, it's kind of sick. What can I say for myself?! I truly believe in redemption. Some people are hopeless romantics. I'm a hopeless redemptic. (Yup, I just made that word up.)

That being said, there's a point where it becomes masochistic though. And basically, it comes down to this: respect. If you respect my time, you respect me. Seems simple enough. 

But more than that, it comes down to the fact that love is spelled: T-I-M-E. For anyone who is aware of the five love languages, my love language is definitely quality time. It's a way that I show love and receive it. It gives me joy to spend time with my friends, family, etc. I see time as an investment and a gift. 

At a certain point though, you can give until it hurts and it's unhealthy. As I said in my last post, a life in transition is difficult. This is another one of those difficult parts about my life currently: learning how to invest my time wisely. 

I was telling a friend tonight that I love spending time and investing in people. If someone is going to waste my time though, I feel frustrated-- because that is time that I could have used investing in someone else. Again, it's not that I mind making investments in people. When it comes down to it, I may say that a person is a "waste of time," but I don't truly believe that. Everyone is worth some time, but you have to be discerning about the amount of time you do invest.

I've recently been reading a book called, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." The basic premise of the book is that we all have a lot more control over our lives than we often admit. It is an inside-out approach that centers on taking personal responsibility. 

The bottom line: it is not other people's fault that they are wasting my time. It is my fault for allowing them and consenting to a misuse of my time. When I look at it that way, it is a little easier to not be as upset with others. If I am truthful with myself, I am more upset with myself rather than anyone else.

So, here we are. What do I do now? I can make a choice. If I am in the driver's seat of my own life, then it's time that I start acting like it. If people want to come along for the ride, they are more than welcome to. If not, I am not begging, pleading, or bending over backwards to help people who truly don't want my help. 

Realistically, all of that rigmarole is really not helping anyone... not them, and certainly, not me. "If you help enough people get what they want, you will get what you want." That's what it's really all about at the end of the day. It's time to start helping people and letting go of the ones who don't want my help anyway. :)

A Life in Transition

I'm going to be honest. Life in transition is hard. There's always a variable of adjusting and readjusting with the end goal being more "balanced" or "centered" or whatever.

Last week was a hard week. As I was telling a friend tonight, I wasn't feeling 100% last week due to a couple of things going on. But beyond what was going on with me physically, it was really my spirit that took the hardest hit. I told my friend that I honestly felt like if I was still working at Disney that people would notice when I was MIA. Now that I am building a business, mainly from home, my fear is that I could have dropped off the face of the planet and NO ONE would know.

Okay, so I bet you're thinking... pity party, party of one. Yes, I know. I threw myself a minor pity party over the past couple of days but I'm feeling better today and I'll tell you why. First reason I felt better: Bible study. Wednesday nights are quickly becoming one of my favorite times of the week. More than any other place in my life, I feel like I can breathe deeply and let my hair down and be real. I can be Delia, the raw and unedited version-- and be completely accepted and feel safe. It's quite refreshing.

And two, I got nice notes from two friends today. One in the form of a message on FB thanking me for a note that I sent him and another in the form of a postcard sent from Chicago. It was just nice to be thought and to have something tangible to look at that says, "I care about you."

Thirdly, I talked to a friend tonight who I hadn't talked to in a while. I must admit: sometimes, I take it personally when friends get super busy in life and I don't hear from them in a while. Logically, I get it. We've all been there. Between going to or teaching at school, working multiple jobs, relationships with significant others, family, friends, etc., it's all a lot to balance. But sometimes, I need friends to check in on me to see how I'm doing. I'm a fairly independent person who doesn't usually ask for a lot of help and I tend to go out of my way to check on my friends, when I'm busy or not. But there's a certain point where I need someone to do that for me.

AND I was feeling frustrated tonight thinking about how I live in Diamond Bar, which is perfectly positioned between Pasadena and Orange County, but how most people don't come out the way that I live. So, I was thinking about that as I was driving home. Segueing back to that convo I was having with my friend, we were talking about when we can get together again next and she said something that really touched my heart. She offered to drive to Diamond Bar to meet up. WHAT?! It was like she knewwwww the conversation I was just having with myself!

So, that's where I am at. 

I was telling another friend recently that I have more time for people now that I'm out of Disney, but that doesn't mean that people have more time for me. It's an odd place to be, but that is one of the major reasons why I made the decision to leave. People are important and life is short. Fostering and developing relationships requires time. And I know that I was not the sister, daughter, or friend that I wanted to be because I didn't have the time to invest in those relationships. Now, I have that time but no one else seems to.

I'm not going to lie. I've been a tad bit lonely and it has made me think back to the time when I came back from 4 month long internship in Tanzania. Back then I was not only out of touch with many of my friends, but I was dealing with reverse cultural shock. At least this time around, I knew kind of what to expect. It may take a while for me to get in a groove, but I know that I'll get there. God didn't call me out of one place without having a new place to bring me into. Here's to living and learning and rolling with the punches! :)

Wandering in the Desert

As with anything, there is a learning curve involved with transitioning from one thing to the next. It has almost been a week since I have left my job to build my own business. 

In one word, how would I sum up this week thus far? 

Trust.

That may seem like an odd word, but let me explain. Leaving the stability and comfort of my job was a huge leap of faith. It was like stepping out of the proverbial boat and walking towards Jesus. It was not without tons of prayer that I made my decision to leave.

Like the Israelites who had been rescued out of Egypt, I felt a little bit like I had said, "Yes" to place of wandering around the desert. Don't get me wrong. I do not regret my decision to leave behind everything that Egypt represents. I have no doubt that the Promised Land is out there, but I would be lying to say that I knew the way to get there.

Wandering in the desert without a map means that you are trusting that someone else knows the way and is going to take you there. That's the best way I know how to describe it. I will say this though, "Not all those who wander are lost." I'm not going to pretend like I know the way though. But, I can tell you this: I am following the One who does. I feel deeply at peace about that. I trust that God has my best interests at heart. That doesn't mean that faith hasn't come without its tests though.

God has been shaking me up a bit lately and today was no exception. For some reason, I made a Disney reference in my mind and I was shaking my head at myself for it. "I can't help it. Disney is in my blood" is what I thought in defense to myself.

Then, out of nowhere, a heard a voice whisper, "Am I as much in your blood as Disney is?" Whoa. Hold the phone. I knew instantaneously that it was God, which is why I almost veered into the lane next to me. I honestly didn't see that coming. I was caught off guard!

Like a retracting rubber-band, I heard and felt the sting of reality *SNAP*.  What has been my prayer recently? 

a.) That my life would serve as proof to the goodness of God; b.) That God would get the glory from the success in my life. 

Underlying that is the idea that everything that I do that I want to do it for the glory of God. (So much easier said than done, I might add.)

Yesterday, at Bible Study, we talked about this very issue. It is not uncommon for people's loyalty to be divided between God and the world. They desire a relationship with God while desiring the temporal things of this world as well (such as success, money, fame, etc.). It's so easy to get enticed by the things of this world and to neglect things that have eternal significance, because eternity seems so far off. But really, it's not. I sure would hate to get to the end of my life and realize that I was about things that didn't matter.

That's a large part why I quit my job. I hated sacrificing my family for a job. I hated feeling like I was wasting my God-given talents. I felt like I was trading in financial stability in for living a life of passion for God. I felt muzzled, caged, and shackled from unleashing my God-given potential to love and serve people. It was ugly. I felt ugly. It was just bad. 

With building my business, a new set of challenges have presented themselves. Mainly, who is going to get the credit for my success? The question isn't whether or not I am going to be successful, because I know that I will be. The question is whether or not my heart is in the right place and I will give credit where credit is due. 

So, let this blog post serve as a reminder to myself and others that I am, first and foremost, in the business of trust. I pray that God continually shapes my heart and prepares me for the impending success, because I would hate to "get to the top" and realize that I left God behind. 

Success, I could take it or leave it. Life without God, I could not think of any worse death sentence. No, thanks.