A Life in Transition

I'm going to be honest. Life in transition is hard. There's always a variable of adjusting and readjusting with the end goal being more "balanced" or "centered" or whatever.

Last week was a hard week. As I was telling a friend tonight, I wasn't feeling 100% last week due to a couple of things going on. But beyond what was going on with me physically, it was really my spirit that took the hardest hit. I told my friend that I honestly felt like if I was still working at Disney that people would notice when I was MIA. Now that I am building a business, mainly from home, my fear is that I could have dropped off the face of the planet and NO ONE would know.

Okay, so I bet you're thinking... pity party, party of one. Yes, I know. I threw myself a minor pity party over the past couple of days but I'm feeling better today and I'll tell you why. First reason I felt better: Bible study. Wednesday nights are quickly becoming one of my favorite times of the week. More than any other place in my life, I feel like I can breathe deeply and let my hair down and be real. I can be Delia, the raw and unedited version-- and be completely accepted and feel safe. It's quite refreshing.

And two, I got nice notes from two friends today. One in the form of a message on FB thanking me for a note that I sent him and another in the form of a postcard sent from Chicago. It was just nice to be thought and to have something tangible to look at that says, "I care about you."

Thirdly, I talked to a friend tonight who I hadn't talked to in a while. I must admit: sometimes, I take it personally when friends get super busy in life and I don't hear from them in a while. Logically, I get it. We've all been there. Between going to or teaching at school, working multiple jobs, relationships with significant others, family, friends, etc., it's all a lot to balance. But sometimes, I need friends to check in on me to see how I'm doing. I'm a fairly independent person who doesn't usually ask for a lot of help and I tend to go out of my way to check on my friends, when I'm busy or not. But there's a certain point where I need someone to do that for me.

AND I was feeling frustrated tonight thinking about how I live in Diamond Bar, which is perfectly positioned between Pasadena and Orange County, but how most people don't come out the way that I live. So, I was thinking about that as I was driving home. Segueing back to that convo I was having with my friend, we were talking about when we can get together again next and she said something that really touched my heart. She offered to drive to Diamond Bar to meet up. WHAT?! It was like she knewwwww the conversation I was just having with myself!

So, that's where I am at. 

I was telling another friend recently that I have more time for people now that I'm out of Disney, but that doesn't mean that people have more time for me. It's an odd place to be, but that is one of the major reasons why I made the decision to leave. People are important and life is short. Fostering and developing relationships requires time. And I know that I was not the sister, daughter, or friend that I wanted to be because I didn't have the time to invest in those relationships. Now, I have that time but no one else seems to.

I'm not going to lie. I've been a tad bit lonely and it has made me think back to the time when I came back from 4 month long internship in Tanzania. Back then I was not only out of touch with many of my friends, but I was dealing with reverse cultural shock. At least this time around, I knew kind of what to expect. It may take a while for me to get in a groove, but I know that I'll get there. God didn't call me out of one place without having a new place to bring me into. Here's to living and learning and rolling with the punches! :)