Wandering in the Desert

As with anything, there is a learning curve involved with transitioning from one thing to the next. It has almost been a week since I have left my job to build my own business. 

In one word, how would I sum up this week thus far? 

Trust.

That may seem like an odd word, but let me explain. Leaving the stability and comfort of my job was a huge leap of faith. It was like stepping out of the proverbial boat and walking towards Jesus. It was not without tons of prayer that I made my decision to leave.

Like the Israelites who had been rescued out of Egypt, I felt a little bit like I had said, "Yes" to place of wandering around the desert. Don't get me wrong. I do not regret my decision to leave behind everything that Egypt represents. I have no doubt that the Promised Land is out there, but I would be lying to say that I knew the way to get there.

Wandering in the desert without a map means that you are trusting that someone else knows the way and is going to take you there. That's the best way I know how to describe it. I will say this though, "Not all those who wander are lost." I'm not going to pretend like I know the way though. But, I can tell you this: I am following the One who does. I feel deeply at peace about that. I trust that God has my best interests at heart. That doesn't mean that faith hasn't come without its tests though.

God has been shaking me up a bit lately and today was no exception. For some reason, I made a Disney reference in my mind and I was shaking my head at myself for it. "I can't help it. Disney is in my blood" is what I thought in defense to myself.

Then, out of nowhere, a heard a voice whisper, "Am I as much in your blood as Disney is?" Whoa. Hold the phone. I knew instantaneously that it was God, which is why I almost veered into the lane next to me. I honestly didn't see that coming. I was caught off guard!

Like a retracting rubber-band, I heard and felt the sting of reality *SNAP*.  What has been my prayer recently? 

a.) That my life would serve as proof to the goodness of God; b.) That God would get the glory from the success in my life. 

Underlying that is the idea that everything that I do that I want to do it for the glory of God. (So much easier said than done, I might add.)

Yesterday, at Bible Study, we talked about this very issue. It is not uncommon for people's loyalty to be divided between God and the world. They desire a relationship with God while desiring the temporal things of this world as well (such as success, money, fame, etc.). It's so easy to get enticed by the things of this world and to neglect things that have eternal significance, because eternity seems so far off. But really, it's not. I sure would hate to get to the end of my life and realize that I was about things that didn't matter.

That's a large part why I quit my job. I hated sacrificing my family for a job. I hated feeling like I was wasting my God-given talents. I felt like I was trading in financial stability in for living a life of passion for God. I felt muzzled, caged, and shackled from unleashing my God-given potential to love and serve people. It was ugly. I felt ugly. It was just bad. 

With building my business, a new set of challenges have presented themselves. Mainly, who is going to get the credit for my success? The question isn't whether or not I am going to be successful, because I know that I will be. The question is whether or not my heart is in the right place and I will give credit where credit is due. 

So, let this blog post serve as a reminder to myself and others that I am, first and foremost, in the business of trust. I pray that God continually shapes my heart and prepares me for the impending success, because I would hate to "get to the top" and realize that I left God behind. 

Success, I could take it or leave it. Life without God, I could not think of any worse death sentence. No, thanks.