June Gloom

June Gloom: It was more than an atmospheric description for me this year.

There is always beauty that comes from the ashes, but before I get to that, you've got to get a little picture of June.

The abridged version is that there was a lot of loss and I practically grieved the entire month. No, nobody died-- but I think that's what made things worse. At least, you expect to grieve when somebody dies. 

From divorce battles to friends moving out-of-state to a friend being brutally assaulted to the betrayal of some family members to setting new boundaries in friendships-- it didn't seem to end. Really and truly, it was only by the grace of God that I didn't slip into a depressive coma and sleep the month away.

It felt like I was in a battle to the death with the Enemy. He is the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I must admit... that he is good at what he does. He sought to steal my joy, kill my spirit, and destroy my confidence. I cannot even recount for you the number of times I found myself saying,
"I feel bad... I feel bad... I feel bad." 

But in spite of it all, I fought tooth and nail to keep my head above water and you know what? I prevailed-- and with a couple of good battle stories to share no less.

Life is tough, but God is good and I am tougher. 

Furthermore, when you have engaged in combat with any enemy, you begin to learn their tactics. Mama didn't raise no fool and I always play to win. When greater is He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world, you are guaranteed a win. The sooner we come to that realization (I mean really understand that) is the sooner we play our cards right and the battle is over.

After what I went through last month, I feel a little bit like the Terminator because I have already decided that I'm not going to let Satan get my goat this month-- or any month for that matter. My whole life could go to hell in a hand basket this month, or next month, or whatever. It wouldn't matter.

Jesus didn't die so that I could live a second-rate life: one without joy, spirit or confidence.

Now for the beauty part: I was driving home tonight, on the first day of this month, reveling at the breathtaking sunset. Lord knows that I'm a sucker for such a thing. I felt a twinge of regret that I had "no one" to share it. Then, I felt God say, "Share it with me." Well, okay then. So, I did! I marveled out loud about God's ability to create something so beautiful and at how lucky I was to be a witness to it.

That's when it hit me, 

"I am blessed... I am blessed... I am blessed." 

I spoke that out loud too and as I did, I felt it wash over all of my "I feel bad" statements in June. I began to feel happy and in the true sense of the word (which is characterized by emotional and mental well-being). Because of God's goodness, I am well. :)